Jul 08 2009
Dating: Pre-dating Rule #1
I have been doing some research on the Internet, about dating. Looking for dating advice, tips, and the like. I found several web sites and will list them all at the end of this post. The first thing that every web site said, is that there are pre-dating rules. So I will start with them. The first thing that the sites say, is that you have to be happy with yourself. This, when you think about it, makes a whole lot of sense. If you are not happy, who would want to be with you? Whether this is physical or emotional, if you are unhappy with who you are, then how can you be happy with anyone else? I used to think that someone else would make me happy, and then I wouldn’t have to be unhappy. But now, I know now, that that is just backwards thinking. You can’t expect to meet someone and fall in love and just be happy. If you don’t know how to make yourself happy, how is someone else is supposed to? One of the things that I do, that makes me happy, and reminds me to appreciate what I have, is to write down all of the good things in my life. I remind myself what I am thankful for. I am thankful for so many things in my life. I have a place to live. I have a family that loves me and supports me in what I do. As to what makes me happy. I do, being around my family does, learning something new and then putting that finding a way to put that knowledge to good use. Furthermore, I know who I am. It has taken me a long time to figure out who I am, and I am probably still learning, but I finally have a clue. I don’t have the perfect body. I am healthy and every day I am getting more fit. But I like the way I am now. I like my personality. I like who I am. So I guess I can move on to the next rule or step. For anyone who is not ready, I would suggest the following to try:
· Take a bubble bath.
· Paint your toes a bright color.
· Take a walk or a bike ride to somewhere you think is pretty.
· Water the lawn (not with a sprinkler. I know it sounds weird, but it is so relaxing.).
· If you have a pet, take them on a walk or cuddle them and give them attention. They always love you so you will feel cared about.
· Drink or eat something with peppermint in it. Peppermint is a natural anti-depressant, that’s why so many people are happy at Christmas time. It’s not Good Will and Cheer or Santa its Candy Canes! (There are many other fantastic uses for peppermint, if you would like to know them, please leave a comment and I will tell all!)
· Find something that makes you feel good about yourself. Finding something you are good at can help you with knowing who you are. I like to sew and quilting has become one of my hobbies. Finding out who you are, whether it’s a tiny piece or most of the enchilada, is an amazing thing.
· Take a class and learn something new. Whether its Advanced Physics or Scrap 2009-07-08booking or “How to manage your money”. You will probably enjoy it more if it’s something that you are interested in. Besides you will get to meet new people.
· Write down everything you know about yourself. Good, bad, and in between. Look at what you don’t like about yourself and what you want to change. Look at what you do like and what you want to improve about yourself. Then do it.
· Set goals for yourself. For example: I want to play the guitar. I like the way it sounds and I learned some things a few years ago. I have decided to pick it back up. My goal is that by Friday I will be able to play 3 chords, and play them well. C, D, and F. That is my goal. I will let you know if I meet it.
· Learn to cook for one person. I know, it’s a bit depressing, but if you can cook for yourself, and not have to eat left over spaghetti for 3 days, you will enjoy cooking and eating more. You could even explore new types of cuisine. Personally, I did this and decided that I would learn to make pasta and sauces from scratch. Now, I can. Creating and cooking for one person was a bit of a challenge, as I come from a large family, but I figured it out. I can, of course, still cook for large quantities of people, but I learned not to waste things and lowered my grocery bill considerably.
· Devote time to yourself. Do things that make you happy. Whether you stay in and watch Pretty Woman or some other movie, or go out and get a manicure doesn’t matter. It’s your time. (Even when in a relationship I would recommend finding the time for “me time”.).
The following is a list of websites that I found some of the above mentioned information and ideas at:
www.lifescript.com/Life/Relationships/Love-101/5_Dating_Rules_To_Live_By
www.topdatingtips.com/dating-rules.htm
